Letter to the Editor: Immodest Statue Fallout

Editors of the Bunyion,

I wasn’t going to write to you again. But then that old familiar burning feeling told me you need to hear what I have to say.

You lied to your readers AGAIN! Your article about BYU statues gave the very strong impression that BYU was finally going to do something about their licentious statues. On TV, I remember seeing an angry mob pull down a statue of Saddam Hussein in Baghdad. That’s sort of what I imagined was going on at BYU after I read your article. I finally felt like I could walk my two children through campus without shielding that naked Indian from their pure, precious eyes.

Saddam-downfall
Ashley’s visualization of Chief Massasoit being politely asked to “put on a robe or something.”

I was on campus the other day to run a few errands. As I led my two innocent boys towards the library, you can imagine the despair I felt when I noticed, too late, that our intended path passed right next to that shockingly immodest statue. Not wanting to stray from the strait and narrow path to the library, I attempted to distract my boys by asking them what their favorite Primary song was. Unfortunately, they noticed the 10 foot behemoth of a naked man towering above them. “What happened to that nice man’s clothes?” they questioned intently.

What was I supposed to say? These boys’ minds are like clay in the Sculptor’s hands. How was I supposed to explain that wicked men sometimes value individuals who break basic commandments like Modesty?

And now I have to endlessly repeat to my children that yes, you still have to wear pants even though that giant metal man at BYU doesn’t wear pants.

So thanks a lot, Bunyion.

Ashley

P.S. The email link on the statue article didn’t work. It kept bringing up Furbies. I finally had to copy and paste the email address to send my letter of protest to BYU.

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  • William Evertz

    Is the “Furbie incident” the work of the disgruntled former BunYion jr writer that bamboozled Ashley before?

  • Ryan

    This is really dumb. There are no naked statues on campus. You are the one lying. There is an Indian wearing indian clothing if that is what you are refering too. Would you rather have an indian wearing something more contemporary like a 3 piece suit? I’m sure that wouldn’t confuse your boys in the least. How about instead of hiding them from the cultures of the world and this church that BYU represents you teach them something.

    • halla

      how do you not get it?

      • Ian Cook

        Some people are humor impaired.

  • dba.brotherp

    @disqus_XbqVOzqfZo:disqus Our beloved leaders have taught us the eternal truths of modesty.
    It does not matter what your “culture” is. Modesty is eternal. Why
    just the other day, I was watching a show about Cleveland. And in this
    show was a bear (named Tim) who only had a shirt on and did not wear
    pants! Can you believe that. NO PANTS! Now maybe in bear “culture” it
    is okay not to wear pants but that still doesn’t make it right! I, for
    one, welcome the day when all “cultures” embrace the true principles of
    shirts and pants (preferably with a tie, but only if you are male).

    • Ryan

      I agree 100%. We really need to find a way to stop bears and other creatures from being so immodest! I will never take my kids to such filthy places like BYU or out camping in the woods for fear of them seeing such horrific immodesty.

  • CapitalisticTerror

    When I first saw the naked Indian man I was horrified. I met with my bishop and stake president. Currently I am going through counseling. I just can’t believe…no, I won’t believe that they let immodest statues onto such a righteous campus like BYU. I go to BYU to find peace, righteousness, and modesty…If I wanted to see immodesty I would just go to any other campus in our nation.

    It makes my heart and soul weep…

  • William Evertz

    Ashley,
    Apparently your sons are comfortable with drug paraphernalia (Chief Massasoit’s peace-pipe) or else you’d be discussing some other Honor Code issues.I am not judgmental, but didn’t they ask you about that?

  • Charles

    I was asked if I would like to hunt bare in Canada. No thank you I said I only hunt with my clothes on.