Editors of the Bunyion,
I wasn’t going to write to you again. But then that old familiar burning feeling told me you need to hear what I have to say.
You lied to your readers AGAIN! Your article about BYU statues gave the very strong impression that BYU was finally going to do something about their licentious statues. On TV, I remember seeing an angry mob pull down a statue of Saddam Hussein in Baghdad. That’s sort of what I imagined was going on at BYU after I read your article. I finally felt like I could walk my two children through campus without shielding that naked Indian from their pure, precious eyes.
I was on campus the other day to run a few errands. As I led my two innocent boys towards the library, you can imagine the despair I felt when I noticed, too late, that our intended path passed right next to that shockingly immodest statue. Not wanting to stray from the strait and narrow path to the library, I attempted to distract my boys by asking them what their favorite Primary song was. Unfortunately, they noticed the 10 foot behemoth of a naked man towering above them. “What happened to that nice man’s clothes?” they questioned intently.
What was I supposed to say? These boys’ minds are like clay in the Sculptor’s hands. How was I supposed to explain that wicked men sometimes value individuals who break basic commandments like Modesty?
And now I have to endlessly repeat to my children that yes, you still have to wear pants even though that giant metal man at BYU doesn’t wear pants.
So thanks a lot, Bunyion.
P.S. The email link on the statue article didn’t work. It kept bringing up Furbies. I finally had to copy and paste the email address to send my letter of protest to BYU.