BYU Statues Break Honor Code

PROVO- “We hadn’t thought of it before,” said David Stevenson from BYU’s Honor Code Office, “but our statues may not be completely in compliance with the Honor Code.”

Elder Lynn G. Robbins visited campus last Tuesday and spoke during the weekly devotional. What most people don’t know is that the BYU administration received a sharp rebuke from the visiting General Authority.

During Robbins’ tour of the campus he pointed out that several statues on campus did not abide by the Honor Code. He cited three examples found below:

Problem Statue #1: Karl Maeser’s Beard

Karl3

For years, students have expressed anguish at the clear hypocrisy of this symbol of integrity. “How can he lecture us about integrity when he doesn’t even follow the honor code!?” sophomore Chelsea Barnes furiously questioned.

Problem Statue #2: Cheif Massasoit or “Yellow Feather’s” Wardrobe Choices

The Native-American statue clearly lacks clothes, thereby breaking most honor code restrictions.
The Native-American statue clearly lacks clothes, thereby committing many Honor Code violations.

“This statue is so offensive to me,” said engineering student, Steven Fisher. “There is no excuse for immodesty. I don’t even shower without being modest.”

Another student, Kelseey Williams said, “I wish this statue wasn’t in my face everyday. For me, this statue is worse than 50 Shades of Gray.”

Problem Statue #3: Baby Out of Wedlock

The statue begs the question, "Where's the rings?"
The statue begs the question, “Where’s the rings?”

This statue of two young lovers swinging their bastard child creates a less-than-satisfactory image of Honor Code adherence among BYU students.

“After I saw this statue again,” said visiting alumni, Steven Polouski, “I realized it was the main reason my baby’s momma and I never got married. We figured if this family is happy without marriage, why not us?”

It is doubtful that BYU will make any changes unless students and alumni will join their voices together in protest. For more information on the cause please email byustatuesmustgo@byu.edu

  • anonymous

    I hope this article is a joke, because if so, it’s actually pretty funny. If it isn’t, I suggest the author and interviewees find something worthwhile to get their feathers ruffled up about.

    • anonymous

      Please tell me you’ve heard of The Onion.

      • CreamOfWeber

        Most everyone has heard of The Onion…

        Pretty much no one has heard of The Bunyion.

        Plus… if you live in Utah… around Utah Mormon’s… well let’s just say Poe’s Law comes into effect here.

    • Reagan

      Did you click on the email address? It redirects you to images of furbies. Seriously, get a clue.

    • Jeremy Lofthouse

      Seriously, anonymous. What planet are you living on? Oh, wait, you live in Provo? Nevermind.

    • Adeline

      Yes, it’s a joke. The only people with ruffled feathers are the the readers who don’t understand satire and are taking this way too seriously… Haha.

  • Paul T Chavez

    Is this article a joke? For real now, this is just silly.

  • Paul T Chavez

    Oh, the whole news team is full of jokers, hahah. I’ve been Bunyioned! My bad.

  • George Washington

    It would be hilarious to see a gullible non-member’s reaction to this article.

    • Adeline

      Start leafing through the comments. There are plenty of people who think this is real. (Probably not just non-members, either)

    • Gina

      It’s interesting to me that you think it would be “hilarious” and a “gullible” to see a non-members reaction. I am a non-member and after reading your comment very happy I am! First that is so very judgmental of you to say that if someone didn’t know this as a joke it would be being gullible. I followed a link on Facebook that said “interesting article” having no clue it was a joke paper. Also growing up in Provo literately 5 minutes at most from BYU, I know it is normally members mission to show love, compassion, and share why the “religion” is “the truth” However you my dear friend just did a massively wonderful job at showing just how judgmental the LDS religion truly is. I see nothing wrong with this article, except for the fact that many LDS people are quickly to judge on people not wearing rings so it is very ironic. But that’s not being gullible it is just another way to see how the LDS religion is completely hypocritical and judgmental.

      • Taylor Larsen

        Gina, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater here. Sure there are judgmental people in the LDS religion, but aren’t there judgmental people everywhere?

        I also think you are missing the whole point of this article. So what if people don’t have rings and have a child? So what if a Native American has a loin cloth instead of clothes? So what if Karl G. Maeser had a beard? The point of the article is to show how ridiculous it is to judge people based on superficiality. That is the whole reason the article is so funny: There are people EVERYWHERE that do this but in LDS culture it seems more relevant. I think the author is just trying to point out that being judgmental or looking for faults in others is no way to live a good life.

        • Gina

          The article doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t think it’s funny, however it doesn’t bother me. As I said #3 is ironic because MANY LDS people are judgmental about stuff like that; I never said the whole LDS religion is. Also I said the commenter above was not emphasizing the good qualities that the LDS religion tries to portray. Yes there are judgmental people everywhere, but they reason the LDS religion is focused on is because this is a BYU websitte.

          • Clara

            Gina, I was born in raised in the church, and one of my first thoughts when I read #3 was that for all we know, the two people are related to the young child. Not all of us are judgmental. Personally, I always strive to do my best to see a more positive possibility, although not everybody does. I am sorry that you feel insulted, and I do agree that they ought not have included the word gullible, as I would have only known that it was satire if the Facebook link hadn’t mentioned that it wasn’t real. Please don’t judge the entire church based on one person. Everybody says things sometimes that they don’t realize until later how much sting it had.

          • Lenard W. Eccles

            Doesn’t say much for BYU Does it ???????

        • Lenard W. Eccles

          Then this artical should have been titled such as satire NOT A JOKE I mean it I was taken in by all the negitive thoughts. I am an LDS and have been since Birth over 77 years ago. Seems the authors of this web site are not humorus I saw nothing humorus in this whole Site. Be real ‘ and post a site that can be humorsus in good positive ways.

      • Janice Maples

        I am so sorry for that rude comment someone made. I am a convert and I was taken in by this article…In todays world it could easily have been true. With everyone is wanting their rights to be heard and given first priority. Please forgive this person and just know we are not all like them. Come to Tennessee…thats where true southern hospitality is shown and not just by church members. There are wonderful people in this world and we have found many of them as our neighbors.

  • jeff

    Chief is not a student. shouldn’t have to follow the honor code. The “couple” might just be caretakers for the child. I can’t comment on maeser though.

    • William Evertz

      All faculty, administration, staff, and student body at BYU are required to live by the BYU honor code, not just students. BYU also requires businesses that have sales reps and delivery personnel that come onto campus to respect the same but are not under obligated to do so except under contractual agreements with BYU.

      Since Chief is on campus everyday he falls into that category; I’m sure Campus Police has addressed this issue with him, but rumor has it he has not responded to the requests.

      • bamball

        My cousin’s wife’s visiting teacher’s sister works at Beehive Clothing, and I heard that she said that the sculptor of Chief’s loincloth asked for and got a special white polycotton blend loincloth from the Distribution Services, for the sculptor’s model, with a special apostolic blessing, with the promise that if the artist would keep only pure thoughts working the wax cast of nipples and loincloth bulges, then the final bronze statue would never give BYU coed or young male RMs any evil sexual thoughts as they passed by. I mean, this is BYU we’re talking about-no self respecting pioneer heritage Mormon young person would ever ever consider lustful thoughts directed towards someone with such dark skin color.

  • Blitz

    Over 10 years ago, an on-campus comedy troupe known as Blitz did a very similar piece featured in an internet video of the pre-Youtube era: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WW3ytRHgYIg&t=655

    • CreamOfWeber

      Oh wow… sometimes I forget how humorless Mormons are.

      Blitz should have remained buried in the “pre-Youtube era”.

    • Leon

      Thanks for the laugh.

  • anonymous

    This is a joke! You base your life on some statues and then expect a REAL relationship to work out, and when it doesn’t you blame the statues?!?! Are you kidding me right now? I don’t even go to BYU, and I think this article is a joke. With all the problems in this world, you decide to complain about a piece of art that has more meaning behind it then you even know. Also the guy who is complaining about the “Native American” statue, listen guy take a little history class and you’ll learn that Natives didn’t have the kind of clothing we have today, so quit complaining about an historical idol when you obviously have no clue about history, and how about you guys focus on some REAL world problems.

    • CreamOfWeber

      Poe’s Law my friend. Look it up.

    • Adeline

      Haha, well of course it’s a joke. This is a Bunyion article. BYU’s version of the Onion….

  • Sarah

    it would be HELPFUL if you put in the title of your website above something like “The Bunyion”: The Campus is our world: a SATIRE website (not real)

    I think your website is very confusing without those words clearly written at the beginning….I think it’s hilarious if those words were there and I understood what I was reading. In the comments it sounds like you piss a lot of people off due to lack of confusion.

    • Angela Decker

      I think the editors expect college students to be intelligent and realize, among other things, that the real BYU slogan is “The World is our Campus.”

      • Guest

        It’s true Angela.

      • Randy

        I’m not a BYU student, college student, or member of the LDS religion, it was on Facebook as a weird article so I clicked on it. It took me a while to realize it was a joke and as seen by the other comments I think it’s safe to say that I’m not the only one. Plus I didn’t know this was or wasn’t a BYU website so why the freak would I know what the real BYU slogan was?! I think Sarah was just trying to give a helpful hint…

  • Adeline

    These comments are too funny. Yes, people, this is a JOKE. That means they’re not serious. I’m actually a little surprised that so many people can’t make the connection between Onion and Bunyion. I’ve never even been to BYU and it’s pretty obvious to me that this is SATIRE.

  • Lyn

    Make that Karl G. Maeser…

    • Brian Warden

      Whoops…thanks lyn. (Gold Star!)

  • Brittany

    Thanks for the laughs. I had to leave class I couldn’t control it.

  • Brittany B

    Lol! Thank you! Pleas do more!!

  • DEE

    I LIVED IN CALIFORNIA,SOUTH AMERICAN AND PROVO UTAH AND…..MMM
    THE PROBLEM IS THAT IN BYU, DONT REALIZE THAT THERE IS REALLY BAD THINGS HAPPENING IN THIS WORLD SO WAKE UP AND PLEASE DONT HAVE PROBLEMS WITH STATUES THEY ARE EVIL AND WILL COME GET YOU JAJAJAJJAJAJAJJAJAJJA THAT INDIAN LOOKS COOL!!!!!!!NICE ART WORK!!!!

  • Anonymous

    I think the LDS people (I am one so I can say this) need to rethink their humor. I guarantee you many people in the “real world” would actually find this kind of humor either just plain stupid or actually offensive, especially the last joke about the child out of wedlock…..just saying…

  • red84604

    I agree with the previous comment. I appreciate the attempt at humor. I have said several times lately that what Mormons lack is an ability to laugh at ourselves–like there’s a fear that it would somehow be denying the truthfulness of the gospel.

    Like much of the Divine Comedy stuff though, everything I have read on this site attempts humor and fails miserably.

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  • Syl

    A ring doesn’t prove that a couple is married and the lack of one doesn’t mean they aren’t.

  • Mate Standard

    There’s too much butthurt going around. This site was awesome until I started reading the comments…

    This is why I don’t ever want to live in Utah. People are so disconnected from reality.

    Gina, condemning the whole LDS religion because of one person? Really?

  • Jenn

    Hahahaha swinging their bastard child….

    • Lenard W. Eccles

      What a rude thought You my friend are Stupid, not as smart as a First grader, You are what you think, and act just as well . Your Statement is Childish and foolish I hope when you grow up you wont be leading this Country, We have enough of them in there now.

  • Poqui

    Humor… careful, you’re in Utah. :-)

    I’m currently growing my beard again for another church film and you’d think that I was the spawn of Satan. I work for the church and it’s twice as bad, my director really struggles with my request to grow a beard every few years.

    When will the LDS Church get over their fear of facial hair??????

    • Trevor Gowe

      You have to ask permission to grow a beard?

      Wow.

      • Poqui

        LDS Church employees have a dress code similar to the New York Yankees, no facial hair. I guess that’s why I’m a Boston fan.

  • Lenard W. Eccles

    I feel that all the Coments about th Statues on BYU Campus are Childish, the Beard, the Native American, They dressed that way then. Be Grown up Act your Age or maybe you are acting your Age. Try Working on your Degree and learn something usefull as you too may become Adults in this life. You Too could become as Smart as a 1st grader.

  • Tim Boyer

    ha. Ok for fun I will explain away these three examples. It is possible that Karl Maeser has a beard card for medical reasons. The Chief I can assume is dressed in his costume for the Living Legend presentation. The couple are perhaps too poor to afford rings since they were married at such a young age and had not saved up the money for a formal wedding.

    • Britt Kelly

      perhaps we should argue that the married couple is so much more righteous than us because they don’t follow the traditions of men to get wedding rings…their sealing is enough.

      -sarcasm meter on high-

  • Michael Christenson

    Perhaps these fine bronze people just dropped their rings off for cleaning and polishing. Ring-wearing does not a married couple make.

    That said…funny article. And you poor, humor-impaired commenters. Remember how “Snide Remarks” (1996-1999-ish) once did a close-captioned article for the humor-impaired? Perhaps the Bunyion could do something like that.

  • Rodney Strong

    Some interesting observations here however, doesn’t the name “Brigham Young University” in a of itself become a contradiction to the schools honor code? Didnt he have a beard too??

    • Rodney Strong

      Plus all them wives!! There’s no way they would even let him in the door!!

  • Greg Kearney

    That’s Karl Maeser? All this time I thought it was Vladimir Lenin!