Ordain Children Movement Gains Momentum

SALT LAKE CITY — Another group protesting for ordination was turned away from General Conference over the weekend: not Ordain Women, but Ordain Children.

The group is composed of more than two hundred children ages four to eleven. Six-year-old Timmy Johnson of the Bountiful 8th Ward leads the group. His mother whispered in his ear as he released this statement:

“I know that children can have the priesthood. I know Jesus loves kids more than grown-ups. I love my mother and father and sisters and brothers and dogs. Nameofjesuschristamen.”

Many have struggled to understand the demands of the group as well as read their signs.

The Church responded to the protest with this statement:

“The children weren’t turned away from conference, we asked them where their parents were and they ran away. One child was crying because he got on the wrong bus coming home from a field trip.”

Critics of the Ordain Children movement claim that children are unfit for the Priesthood because of their age. Aiden Ramsey, Ordain Children supporter and Johnson’s playmate, considers this “not fair” and thinks adults need to learn to share.

Some proponents, however, claim there is both doctrinal and scriptural evidence for the Ordain Children movement.

“Noah, Mormon, and Samuel were all ordained before twelve years of age,” explains Troy Roberts, a leader of the Mormon Association for the Advancement of Child Priesthood (MAACP). “I just think it’s terrible that there are no children on any of the church’s general boards. I mean, kids don’t even participate in ward council. Didn’t Jesus say, ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, for of such is the kingdom of heaven?’ How can you have a kingdom of little children without letting children have the Priesthood?”

Updated — April 8, 5 p.m. MST
The Church’s P.R. Department has issued an official response to the small activist organization. Read the response here.

Church Issues Press Release Asking Ordain Children to Reconsider Plans to Protest
Narrow-Minded Woman Refuses to Believe that Ordain Women Group are Unchristian Apostates
  • Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

    Not funny. This is offensive.

    • Taylor Larsen

      How so?

      • Markie

        Because its ‘humor’ is based on the idea that it is funny for women to be seeking ordination because they are intellectually and spiritually less developed than men (or 12 year old boys). The idea of parody is to stretch an idea to absurdity, but it only works if you’re stretching along the same path. So, to poke fun at OW by suggesting that next we will have Ordain Children is to say that women are less than men in the same way (although maybe not to the same extent) that children are less than men.

        • Matt

          You’re wrong it’s not a parody it’s satire. Pretty much your whole point is mute.

          Also, adults should never view themselves superior to children anyways. I believe that is a pride thing.

          • Markie

            You are correct, I mixed up my terms (much like your ‘mute’ instead of ‘moot’). The point stands. The humor only works if you start with the premise that women are intellectually or spiritually less mature than men. If the author was instead trying to satarize others’ infantilization of women, he missed the mark. I do not believe myself superior to children, but I do consider myself intellectually and spiritually more mature than children (which is the dimension I referenced in my original response).

          • Matt

            Mixing up mute and moot is a spelling error, not a mix up of terms. But well played none the less. Well played.

            But to explain why the point is moot. Satire: use of wit to criticize behavior. You feeling that women are being intellectually and spiritually attacked is bogus. Only the act of picketing General Conference to achieve the goal of ordaining women is being attacked. The author could have easily replaced children with dogs, cats, zombies, unicorns, aliens, World Peace Prize recipients, Jews, the pope and Catholic nuns, Buddhist monks, ect. ect. ect.

          • Jettboy

            Yes, the whole point of the satire is that the OW are acting like spoiled children having a tantrum, not that they are children. Even the parent whispering in the ear is similar to the secular and liberal groups giving them the exact politically “correct” words to use.

          • Jackson Alvey

            The humor only works if I laugh at it, and I did.

          • Luman Walters

            of course it’s mute. This is the internet afterall.

    • Jake

      Are you mad because you think a fake church is being sexist? Or are you mad because God made a decision and you think it’s unfair? Are you a 14 year old girl? Go slam your door and yell something about it being ‘your life’.

  • CitizenJayne

    With all the sexist, demeaning, mocking and hurtful comments I’ve heard over the last few days, this one takes the cake. Who is responsible for this? It’s stunning that someone would think this is funny.

  • slgdh

    lame…

  • Cody Lehr

    Honestly people….. take a joke.

  • Angela Liscom Clayton

    Wow, let’s continue to beat the crap out of women and marginalize them further. Maybe that will convince them to leave the church which is apparently what the Bunyion wants. Great job, jerks.

    • larry

      Hmm. Considering this was written by an ex-Mormon, I’d have to assume he does want you to leave the church. He’d probably feel very satisfied that it was so simple.

    • Jettboy

      Why would liberal women want to remain with the Church when they have the Community of Christ they can join that has already given them all that they want?

  • John

    I don’t know why we have our pitchforks out for this article, doesn’t the church already treat women like a bunch of cute kids with misspelled signs?

  • Lydiak

    I’d rather here a commentary on how the priesthood will be given to men with large penises because the others aren’t man enough.

    • larry

      Either women or children or small penised men would be up in arms. Whoever can’t laugh at themselves has no business commenting on a satirical prose. But it’s easy when you’re a man with a big penis.

      • Lydiak

        Who is anyone to tell another what they have business commenting on? Even a large penis doesn’t give that type of power.

    • William Evertz

      Will there be a ruler, and will it measure in cubits? Will they take in to consideration circumcision?

  • larry

    My ex Mormon feminist friends can appreciate the satire, who else could possibly be offended?

  • CitizenJayne

    Listen guys, if all or most of the women responding to this article are offended by this satire on women, and all the men are defending it, then MAYBE there’s a problem here. . . .

    • jennifer white

      I’m a woman and I’m not offended by this article. I know that many other women would not be offended either. But it does break my heart that the women wishing to be ordained. Those women really need to understand the heart of the gospel. There is a problem with members of the church going against itself! The church is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I really just cannot understand why they want the priesthood. Men holding positions as bishops, stake presidents, as priesthood holders is not because they are superior to women in spirituality or maturity. Those positions are because they have greater responsibility in the church. This is the importance of families. Women have the same, and I think greater, responsibility in the home. This is why the family proclamation states that “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their family”. My father was not there the entire time I was at home, I didn’t always have the priesthood in my home. We were blessed with the way the church is organized to have the priesthood from home teachers and other leaders. The church is designed as a family, the man is to preside as the woman nurtures. I think that is a beautiful part of the church, I certainly hope more women can understand the importance of their role as a mother or sister in the Church and in the Relief Society.

      • CitizenJayne

        “I’m not offended by this article, so no one else should be either.” “I don’t want the priesthood, so no one else should either.” Does this logic make sense, Jennifer?

        • Guest

          If you don’t understand that women have priesthood authority already, please go to the temple. I went there today. It was AWESOME!!! 🙂

        • jennifer white

          Well when you put it that way, no YOUR logic does not make sense. I’m not saying that no one should be offended, I understand why women who want the priesthood find this offensive. But it is more offensive for a lot more people that women are boycotting the church to become ordained.

  • dankrist

    The church *does* ordain children. What is a twelve year old boy? A child.

    Well done, Mormons. We are so blind to our own absurdities that we confusedly write them as satire before remembering that, oh wait, we do that. We ordain children while refusing to ordain adult women.

    • Jake

      Why do people think it’s up to the church? If you don’t believe in the church, fine, go away. If you DO believe in the church, take it up with God. Why aren’t you saying prayers and telling Him He is wrong?

  • Luman Walters

    The bunyion has been funny in the past but this article is not funny.This really doesn’t work as a satire. Other people who have wrote pieces for the bunyion were able to write a decent, satirical piece. This isn’t satire. It might have been the intention but it was executed very poorly. When you are working with satire someone is being poked at. Satire works best when you take a jab at goliath, not david.
    Further, I think the bunyion sells well with the mormons on the fringes since the orthodox mormons have the new era comics to get their laughs. You don’t want to mess with your target base like this. Figure out who is going to speak on behalf of your page because you owe people an apology.

    • Guest

      Not all satire is funny. Otherwise it’s just humor.

  • Andrew Brown

    The church does ordain children you dumbf***s. And yeah it is absurd. How pathetic that you use that fact as satire as if it were an exaggerated next step. It is how your church currently functions.

  • OldFriend

    Honestly, I love this because I think it brings out the true absurdity of excluding women from the priesthood. They aren’t kids, they’re big people with big brains and our church leaders should definitely take this question to the Lord. How can an organization be truly effective when at least half of the members (and often the more committed half of the members, I should add) are systematically excluded from all decision-making?

    • Colter Talon Chase

      Here is my view point, Women who want to be ordained to the priesthood do not fully understand it, and they want God to change to fit them, so instead of following God they are wanting to lead God.

      • OldFriend

        In all of our modern church history, revelation has often (if not exclusively) come after faithful people bring questions to God. (See first vision, Book of Abraham, Joseph Smith translation of bible, most of the D&C, extending the Priesthood to Blacks, removing the Blood oaths and ritual nudity from the Endowment… I could go on). None of these came out of thin air into our Prophets’ minds… members brought these questions to the Prophets’ attention and then revelation happened. If we (as church members) don’t ask the tough questions, then how will we be any different from churches that don’t have continuing revelation. I sustain our leaders, but I don’t think they’re asking.. Elder Oaks’ talk makes it clear that at this point, they’re happy just reiterating the status quo (of systematic exclusion).

  • GrimGrinningGhost

    If only the comparison of ordination-of-women to ordination-of-children was intended as a reflection of the way some women feel about being refused ordination (because of course twelve-year-old male children *do* receive the priesthood) was the intent. This would have been epic funny and pertinent. Instead, it just infantilizes women with regard to a very sensitive issue. #epicfail

  • Taylor

    The funniest thing I’ve read in a while.

  • Tanner

    I think people read too much into things. I think the author took a current issue and then twisted it to get laughs without intending to make a political statement.

    • Matthew T Jones

      Hopefully this is the case. However, I think it is very unprofessional to post such an article that could potentially cause such a debate. If someone is going to publish something, they have to be aware of the possible circumstances to follow. If not, they should probably stay out of the publishing world. What happened to professionalism?

  • Kyle Amos Shepherdson

    This article is funny. These comments aren’t funny, they are scary. Maybe everybody petitioning outside of the Conference Center missed this talk, given this conference, on this very subject:
    https://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2014/04?lang=eng&vid=3436246697001&cid=3

  • Steven

    Strange.. saw an article kinda similar to this from another site. Don’t know for sure if it was ‘borrowed,’ but worth a look: http://beehivebugle.com/2014/03/28/ordain-willem-movement-picks-steam-2/

  • Matthew T Jones

    Is this a prank article? If it is… Thank goodness! If not, this is very sad… If you support the Ordain Children of Ordain Women movements, I invite you to study both the Bible and Book of Mormon. God loves all of his children but has different responsibilities assigned to each person. Some of the responsibilities are specific to the person, some to gender, some to age, some to geographic location, and so on. The Priesthood is one that God has assigned to the worthy male members of the Church starting at age 12. The Priesthood is given to an individual solely to be used as a tool in Gods hands to serve others. Not to be used for self gain. Women and children have access to the Priesthood through those men in their wards, stakes, and families. I understand that in some cases a Priesthood holder is not available when needed. However, God will bless those according to His will and also to the faith of the individual. The Priesthood, otherwise, is used to perform sacred saving ordinances like baptism. I do not know all of the reasons why Gods laws are organized like this but I believe that it is for a reason that will benefit us. His Children. Again, I invite you to study the scriptures with an open heart to receive Gods answer about this and not for Him to justify your opinion. I promise that if you do so you will receive an answer, will feel peace of mind, and Gods love in your life. 🙂 Have an amazing day!

  • Ryan

    the answer was in Elder Oaks’ talk, the first talk in priesthood session. you can read it here: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/the-keys-and-authority-of-the-priesthood?lang=eng

    • Kate

      One apostle’s word does not doctrine make. Check out this article from the mormon newsroom: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/approaching-mormon-doctrine
      And then compare these statements: http://imgur.com/xq3uIU8 (I would note that actually “they” does not refer to women but to the priesthood holders.)

      I don’t think Oaks’s response was direct. What he said was that that they’re not free to make changes, and that they’re not who they should be asking. But that’s not the point: our church leaders are free to seek revelation. I think that a lot of evidence points towards our understanding of the priesthood changing in the future (esp. in regards to women.)

  • Beth

    As an overworked woman in the Church, I’m wondering why nobody apparently notices that in this post, and commonly in other posts, the BunYion uses the name of the Lord in vain. If the premise of this site is that absolutely nothing is sacred (not even the Lord’s name), I can’t help but wonder why OW think their miniscule movement is above joking about/satire/mockery. C’mon BunYion, isn’t there a way to imply things that truly are sacred without overtly writing them? We can and ought to laugh at human foibles and not about things that are truly holy.

    • Taylor Larsen

      Whatever do you mean? Is simply saying “Jesus” or “God” taking something in vain?

  • Pingback: Strangers In Zion: is this for real or is it satire? | Opinions in Zion()

  • Chemcat

    Hahaha!