Justin Bieber to Attend BYU by Court Order

MIAMI — Canadian-born pop sensation Justin Bieber was arraigned early Thursday morning under charges of intoxicated driving without a valid license. As part of a court-ordered remedial program, Bieber will be moving to Provo, UT to attend Brigham Young University.

Despite suggestions of deportation from Twitter users under #deportjustin, Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS) refused the filing, prompting Miami judge Ricardo Moreno to order the move to BYU.

Moreno spoke directly after the sentencing, saying, “I believe this move will be beneficial to [Bieber], as he has never had the chance of attending university classes. I think he will grow past his old ways and won’t revert unless he spends too much time at Helaman Halls.”

BYU spokeswoman Elizabeth Hodgkin reports that BYU is thrilled to have Bieber in Provo. “The LDS church is already known for David Archuleta and now we can add Justin Bieber to our branding. If we could just add One Direction, we’d have a monopoly on every girl ages 10-16 worldwide.”

Despite concerns of adaptation, especially to BYU’s strict honor code, most feel that Bieber will adjust quickly to his new home. The pop-star himself didn’t seem too disappointed earlier today when he sent out a tweet reading, “BYU honor code requires men to shave daily?? HA! This is gonna be a cinch! #nosweat.”

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  • Taylor Larsen

    He strikes me as someone who would do well in prison.

    • Michael Mason

      By dropping the soap?

  • dba.brotherp

    I don’t like to criticize judges because only wise people become judges and judges make only wise decisions but I can’t help to wonder if nine month later, after Brother Bieber arrives, there isn’t going to be a lot of immaculately concepted babies being born in Provo.

  • Haily

    Is Justin Bieber really moving to provo? If so when is he moving to provo?

    • Taylor Larsen

      I just know that the conference where he was welcomed to campus was crazy. So many people there.

      • Haily

        What do u mean?

      • Jill

        Now this is impressive.

      • YOMOMMA

        yeah because that’s ‘clearly’ NOT photoshopped looool

  • Christy Powell Wilson

    I seriously hope this isn’t true

  • cayd

    the bunyion is supposed to a spinoff on the onion it’s fake news. they make fake articles that seem real.

  • Rebecca

    Not really a big fan of this fake article.

    • William Evertz

      What?? You’re not a Belieber?

  • Jim Morsley

    How is this article not hilarious to some?

  • Wichada Wisanbannwit

    This is NOT serious…is it?! haha

    • Michelle Bate Kendall

      I think I am most concerned that some are reading this and THINKING it is true! Satire, people!!!

      • Wichada Wisanbannwit

        Yeahhh I know it’s fake! lol but A lot of people do think it’s real.

  • carla.

    now can we move on with our lifes? and stop posting about it? go look
    at that dumb page, and it says byu “CALIFORNIA” and no, there isnt a byu
    in California. also, a judge CAN NOT legally make someone go to damn
    college. that is an open decision. we can be smart about it. and One
    more thing, you think justin would come to utah, PROVO , before any
    other place in the united states with the billions of dollars he has??
    just because he is famous, it does not give him the right to be admitted
    to byu. he wouldn’t be accepted. there are rules and standards to go
    there. and takes a person to try a hell of a lot harder to go there. and
    he NEVER tweeted that he was going to provo byu, or any type of
    college. hes fine. in florida, still…living the life move a long people. holy mother.

    • Tyler Fritz

      Billions of dollars he has??? I do not know of a simple celebrity/artist that has even made close to a billion dollars. Take a moment to think about just how much money that is… He may have a FEW million. But he is not a billionaire…

  • Amanda Schroeder

    I will probably move out of the state of Utah if this is true. Good thing it isn’t.

  • kaspercasey

    This can’t be real. This is the only place reporting that. It sounded too crazy to be true. BYU would never accept that kid, he is on drugs and all that.

    • William Evertz

      The BunYion is THE place to get news that matters. It’s better than going to Yahoo Answers.

  • Tyler Fritz

    This is absolute bull! If I had committed the same crime there is no freaking way that I would just get court ordered to BYU! This is proof of the special treatment that celebrities get in our society. HE COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE! But he gets sent to a great university for ‘punishment’/’reform’. And my last point: I don’t want that disrespectful, and arrogant little ***** in my state anyway! If he pulls a stunt like that again the lives of my family could be at jeopardy.

    • Jeff
    • Sara Fergie

      it’s a fake article. Satire……..just for your information 🙂 . i’m sure a lot of people thought it was real at first. the bunyion is a spin off of the onion. but i agree. it seems at times as though Celebs are untouchable. you hear about them doing drugs and not getting punished. or in this case doing something stupid like driving while impaired or assault and hardly getting punished at all. it’s ridiculous. i’ve never understood why celebrities are let off the hook for things that normal people would get a couple months of jail for, or worse.

      • Scott Jarvie

        What’s the fun in telling them it’s a satire. Let them believe if they can’t figure out something so simple. Makes it more enjoyable this way.

        So I say welcome to BYU Justin… I bet you could even audition for Vocal point or play some shows at the Velour.

        • Sara Fergie

          If i hadn’t told them, they would have found out anyways from someone else……..take a look at all the comments saying it’s a satire website……..go figure……..

  • Jeff Brown

    Very funny. Anyone who believes this probably think LDS’s don’t have a sense of humor. Psych!

  • Sandy Pham Vonniederhausern

    I would like to see if he could give up his way and become a better person that is used to be.

  • 뇌운

    He forgot to mention that the BYU honor code also includes no alcohol.

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