Archaeologists Uncover Joseph Smith’s iPhone 1827s

NAUVOO—Amid rumors that Steve Jobs was a closet Mormon, new evidence suggests that Joseph Smith’s mysterious “Seer Stone” was really nothing more complex than an iPhone.

Historians searching through a box of what were thought to be useless artifacts made the find on Wednesday. Sitting at the bottom of a stack of financial papers was a dusty black object which bore a striking resemblance to the iPhone.

Joseph Smith with what appears to be an 1830's iPhone
Smith’s “Seer Stone” does seem oddly familiar…

“We believe a lot of revelation may have come from this object directly,” explained Dr. Aaron Veitnicks, an anthropologist from BYU. “We fired the device up and found a number of applications still running from their last use in the mid-1840s. We found short instructional clips on how to build the temple, a translator app, and even an early form of email.”

Although the device has mysteriously been whisked away to the granite vaults near Salt Lake City, Dr. Veitnicks produced a series of photographs. Most striking about the device was its single home button, volume controls on the side, and a large touch screen. Flipping to a photograph of the reverse side of the device, Dr. Veatnicks eagerly pointed to the area where Apple’s logo is typically displayed on the iPhone. Our eyes were greeted by none other than the famous Angel Moroni icon found on most LDS temples.

“Every idea we’ve had about the way revelation worked will be revolutionized by this find,” exclaimed Veatnicks. “The inspired translation of the Bible? Nothing more than tedious typing into the dialogue box on his translator app. The Word of Wisdom appears to even be derived from an app similar to WebMD. This is a watershed discovery!”

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  • William Evertz

    NO! It can’t be! Joseph Smith did not partake of the forbidden Apple!
    Surely this discovery of a handheld black box is an invention of Moroni in his last years (he did have a lot of free time after his people were wiped out, and it does bear his brand). And what about Lehi’s portable GPS device? Or Moses’ tablets (I think the first set crashed because it was running an obsolete version of Windows.) Joseph Smith would not relegate himself to this antiquated device we call an iPhone, … maybe an S4.

  • Nancy

    Hopefully this post will silence all the critics that Joseph Smith read out of another book while he dictated!

  • dba.brotherp

    I cannot sit idly by and let such blasphemous rumors go unanswered! All true believers know that prophets use a seer stone with a Windows OS on it. All other OS are imitations of the adversary.