Opinion: Local Elders Need Real Mission Experiences

To the Utah Valley Community:

Utah Valley missionaries have it good. The locals are friendly. Everyone yells, “Hey Elders!” out their car windows as they drive by on State Street. The local Elders frequently get their food and shopping paid for by generous members. Compared to most other missionaries in the world, the life of a Utah Valley missionary is downright cushy.

I just got back from serving in Siberia. Despite the bleak winters and bitter loneliness, I can honestly say it was the best two years of my life because I grew from it. I knew what I was teaching was true because of all the opposition I received. I knew that broken Vodka bottles were flying at my head and people were pooping on our doorstep because evil will always resist truth. God told Joseph Smith that Joseph would be exalted on high if he endured his afflictions well (D&C 121:7-8). I am so grateful that I had afflictions to endure so that I will also be exalted on high.

As members of the church in Utah, we are doing our local Elders a huge disservice. The Elders are not experiencing the exquisite growth that comes from overcoming trials, and we need to repent and change our ways. The Elders are not passing through the refiner’s fire. They are not having their faith tested by cruelty and depravity and are not receiving the opportunity to increase their faith with even greater strength. How can the seed of faith grow without the scorching heat of the sun?

So, scream profanities at the missionaries. Tell them they worship the devil and they should go back to where they came from. Offer them rides, but drive off as they reach for the door handle while you cackle maniacally. Pretend to be interested in their message, invite them to your house, lead them along for months, but only rarely keep appointments and never commit to anything. Refer them to that angry atheist friend you have, while assuring the Elders that he is very interested and currently trying to find the truth.

Follow the spirit and remember, God will always stop you if you are giving them more trials than they can handle (1 Cor 10:13). I know that when we offer trials to the missionaries out of love, they will endure them well and be exalted on high.

Elder Monsky

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  • EJ Mason

    Wow! I really hope this is a joke. Your mission sounded more like punishment due to your extreme sickness of ultra-doucheness. My brother served in some of the nicest areas in France and Switzerland! Sounds like he must have not been able to grow and learn because he was pampered driving around, eating luxury meals and sleeping in a beautiful apartment. He didn’t have one baptism in 2 years and was so depressed from constant rejection that he and many of his mates with whom he served with, needed counseling when they came home. Every mission has its trails even the ones in Utah.

    Obviously all that you went through you didn’t learn one of the most important christ-like values; Humility. Who are you to judge these elders and speak badly of God’s servants? What mental disability led you to believe that members should treat these elders badly even though you may not understand what difficulties they may have in their life? By far the most idiotic dribble that could have spewed from your mouth was saying God would stop you if you where to take the trial distribution too far. You know little about free agency to think God will come down and stand in front of you and say “Now, now Elder Monskey. I think you have taken this a little to far with these elders.”

    Stop being an idiot and getting in the way of Gods work. If anyone needs a few more trials it sounds like you do.

    Do us all a favor and delete your terrible blog.

    • Keep Peace

      Hey man, this blog is obviously a parody, did you not read the post about the uprising at the MTC? Obviously that didn’t really happen… or did it?
      Just trying to keep the peace.

    • Gandhi

      Seriously man, do us all a favor and actually look at the rest of the blog before leaving hate posts like this. I mean I’m actually kind of hoping this blog is real because then Jimmer might actually be coming back to BYU… please, please, please…

    • John

      I think you must be retarded.

  • Student of Chaos, I mean, Humanity

    Is this a blog? I thought it was the next in social media!
    If it is social media, how do I invest?
    If it’s a news site and these are reporting stories, where do I apply for a job?
    If it is just a blog and these are real experiences, never mind, I’ll just go back to hoping Romney’s guitar skills turn the economy around.

    • Taylor Larsen


      The BunYion is a news site reporting the latest events from BYU and Utah in general. We are currently full-staffed with writers but we welcome any guest posts.