University Grants Extra Holiday Vacation to Accounting Students

PROVO—Brigham Young University representatives announced today that all students in the accounting program will be granted an extra two weeks of vacation, changing their start date for winter semester from January 6th to January 20th. This allowance was given to reward the students for their superior performance and for representing the school well.

“The accounting program is an extremely competitive program and this year we placed second in the nation,” said program director Brandon Hill. “We’ve decided to let these students know that their hard work and dedication is appreciated here at the Lord’s university. We also hope that this will encourage students in other programs, especially the humanities, to pick up the slack and get their act together.”

The announcement, which was disseminated to current students by email earlier today, has been met with positive reactions.

“I see this as an advantage for us non-accounting majors. I mean, I could really use the extra two weeks in the chemistry program,” comments Julia Benson. “Maybe now I’ll be able to hold a candle to my accounting peers.”

Tyler Packer, a junior in the accounting program, was ecstatic to hear the news, saying, “I’ve always done my best to be insufferable about how great the accounting program is. Now I’ve got the opportunity to shove this in my friends’ faces for an additional two weeks.”

BYU’s first day of classes for lesser students is January 6th. Accounting students will be excused from any material covered prior to their return on the 20th.

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  • peter priest

    Everyone knows that the only proper way to establish a future for yourself is to be enrolled at BYU Provo. However, enrollment alone doesn’t give us a guarantee. We must still be tested, and properly exercise our free agency. Those who choose the accounting program are truly the noble and great ones. The brother of Jared himself was carefully trained in the art of accounting, and was able to put his skills to the test as he carefully counted up the right number of stones to put in the barges.
    I gasped in horror when an accounting major told me that he was just majoring in accounting so that he could start his own business. How could he study something as important and prestige as accounting, and then just leave it for something else? But then I received much comfort when I realized that most of them got stuck in large accounting firms working 80 hours a week. The higher calling.

    • Taylor Larsen

      How could one provide for a family without making $200K a year and working 80 hours a week like you stated? Literally impossible. Simply put: Accounting is the one true major for those striving for righteousness.

  • dba.brotherp

    It’s about time BYU recognized the next generation of the Lord’s bean counters. After all, with the market being so saturated with accounting majors, they are gong to need that extra two weeks to work on the next big MLM scam… er, i mean scheme, …er, what I really mean is opportunity.