The feminist community of the United States breathed a collective sigh of relief upon hearing multiple sources confirm that “Blurred Lines”, a song by artist Robin Thicke, was indeed meant as a satire.
“Oh yeah, I was just kidding about the whole thing,” said Thicke, the R&B singer turned pop sensation. “I thought it would be obvious that my song would actually make people aware that rape culture is everywhere.”
Thicke also mentioned that he was married and would never do anything to upset his wife, “unless his buddies put him up to it.”
Many feminists were glad to see that the song, whose video depicts topless women as well as a dose of groping, was meant to be a parody of the pop genre and music that degrades women.
“Oh, wow,” one woman said as she wiped the angry sweat from her forehead. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t send that package of burning bras to him. I mean, c’mon, I should have seen how his video and song were different from the others.”
Another woman was relieved to hear that Thicke’s song was all fun and games. “I was worried that his line about ‘I know you want it’ made him sound like a rapist and a weirdo married guy; then I saw the VMAs with him and Miley Cyrus and I’ve decided that I was wrong, Thicke is a class act.”
67 year-old Bob Dinkers was sad to see the feminist community upset at such a “harmless” video. “I mean, let’s get serious here: what girl doesn’t want to have relations* with any guy that says ‘I know you want it’? Thicke is right,” continued Dinkers, a known relations* offender, “nothing rapey about this song because nothing tells a woman how great she is like a good grab on the caboose and a honk on the hooters. I just don’t see what women are complaining about.”
Regardless of personal opinion about the rape culture that is or isn’t evident in the song, listeners everywhere will get the chance to hear “Blurred Lines” every 15 minutes for the next month on all pop music radio stations.
*The man interviewed, Bob Dinkers, used a word so taboo in Mormon culture that the editors of The BunYion agreed that it could not be reprinted. It was replaced with the word relations.