Church Brawl Ends in Basketball Game

HOUSTON, TX – Bishopric members were quick to the scene after a Church brawl was interrupted and ultimately ended in a basketball game.

Melvin Richards told The BunYion that the situation took a dark turn when players realized that winning or losing the game was largely meaningless in the greater scheme of things.

“Once Todd Magnum calmed down and stopped fouling everyone, you could just feel the tension,” said Richards, Elder’s Quorum President of the 3rd Ward. “We could feel something bad was going to happen, we just hoped it wouldn’t lead to a basketball game.”

These men may not be eligible to take the sacrament after basketball broke out during church brawl.
These men may not be eligible to take the sacrament after basketball broke out during church brawl.

Jordan Mann was overcome with guilt and disappointment that something so beautiful could turn into something as dangerous as basketball. “I don’t know if I should take the sacrament this Sunday,” he said as he sat dejected after Wednesday night’s embarrassment. “My wife is telling me that if I don’t become more prideful, annoying and petulant and take these brawls less seriously, I could be end up being banned.

Bishop Richmond of the Houston 3rd Ward said that if “grown men couldn’t be irritable and pouty” he would “cancel all future fighting in the gym” and force participants to take their civility somewhere else.

The next ward brawl will take place Thursday at 7:30 PM in the Houston 3rd Ward gym.

Feminist Community Relieved that "Blurred Lines" Meant as Satire
MTV Announces “Real World: BYU”
  • dba.brotherp

    Some of my fondest memories are that of participating in ward brawls. The bonding that occurs, with your priesthood brethren, as you wait for the police and ambulance to arrive cannot be matched. The quiet recognition you get for your “red badge of courage” from fellow ward members, the following Sunday, is a humbling experience almost too sacred to repeat on this forum.